Kids..

[XLR8]

So yesterday my girlfriend's parents wanted her (she's 18) and me (I'm 17) to take her (13 year old) brother and 3 of his friends to "valleyscare". Basically a theme-park decked out for Halloween. Anyway I ended up driving since there were 6 of us and my girlfriend drives a 2-door cavalier (her parents wouldn't let us borrow their ford expedition, sweet). So there are 4 kids in the back and I'm not too concerned since they are all 13 years old. I asked them politely when we first got in the car if they could keep their hands off the windows since I had just washed them, etc. Cool. So anyway some kid has chocolate back there that I didn't know about but I relax because I mean come they are 13 years old right. Wrong, these are the most inconsiderate kids I have ever seen. They are talking back to the park employees, wandering off without us, etc. They are just all ungrateful and disrespectful. For all of us to get in it was like $137 and not one said thank you. I thought that was pretty amazing. Anyone one of the kids eventually doesn't want to do anything, no rides, no scary things so we decide it's time to go. So we drive back into our town (about 20-30 minutes away). We get into town and I am supposed to drop these kids off. I ask one of them where he lives, he has a general idea...yeah...doesn't even know where his house is. He is in 7th grade and 13 years old. So needless to say we are driving around 2-3 neighborhoods trying to figure out where this kid lives. K, he's home, I ask the next kid. He lives like 15 minutes away out in the middle of no where down some gravel road. Sweet, there goes my car wash :thumbsdow So we get him out there. Then the last kid just lived down the street from my girlfriends house. Okay, stressful night but it's over. I go to get in my car this morning and find this:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/melikehooters/AccordChocolate002.jpg

Not one of them said anything to me, or apologized. Where do these kids come from? I'm only 17 but I never did anything like that! I always use my manners and I always have. I can't believe how much stuff has changed in 5 years! Okay, my rant is over, chocolate is gone :dunno:

[stiller fan]

just be lucky that it was leather, and not the cloth interior..... :paranoid:

[Terps_Fan]

Oh give me a break, they are just kids being kids and even if you think you were so kind and courteous, you probably weren't. Everyone is pretty much a brat at that age. That would be why teaching middle school is considered to be so difficult. Besides, you earned some important brownie points with parents and they can go a long way.

[Greg S]

Where do these kids come from? I'm only 17 but I never did anything like that! I always use my manners and I always have. I can't believe how much stuff has changed in 5 years! Okay, my rant is over, chocolate is gone :dunno:



Nothing has actually changed since you were that age. You were probably raised by parents that actually gave a damn about how you acted in public and made it known to you in no uncertain terms what was and wasn't acceptable. Welcome to how other paretns raise their children. They think it's the schools responsibility to teach the kids manners and how to act in public. They don't have the time to do that they are there to make sure the kids learn to read and write, not how to behave. My wife is constantly amazed when she goes places and see other kids running around screaming or gerenrally acting like there is nothing more important than what they want right then and there. She just thinks our kids natuarally are good. Hell no, I made it well know to them at a very early age what would be acceptable behavior and what wasn't. They understand very well that if they screw up there will be consequences and they won't like them.

It not the kid's fault that there parents didn't instill in them what is good behavior and what is not, it's the parents fault. Just ionform your girlfriend's parents that you won't be taking her little brother anywhere any more as he and his friends do not understand how to behave with others. If they care to ask why let them know, if they don't then you see where it comes from.:yes:

Sorry, rude kids bother me even more now as a parent then they did when I was younger..

[edwilson13185]

I feel your pain. I'm 22 and it amazes me how people around my age seem to respect no one. They don't even seem to respect themselves. Be thankful that your parents raised you the way they did.

Sorry to hear about your car, but I'm glad it wasn't anything worse.

[flippco]

They think it's the schools responsibility to teach the kids manners and how to act in public.

This is true, what some parents (knowing there are good parents out there) don't take time to reinforce manners or expectations. They just want to be their kids best friend, I am not sure I am a fan of that approach.

My wife teaches 7th grade and it is kind of depressing to see that one, she has 38 kids in a class and two, who forget their stuff or don't know how to write or speak well.

[XLR8]

Oh give me a break, they are just kids being kids and even if you think you were so kind and courteous, you probably weren't. Everyone is pretty much a brat at that age. That would be why teaching middle school is considered to be so difficult. Besides, you earned some important brownie points with parents and they can go a long way.

There is a difference, it's called respect. Kids being kids, yeah I did some stupid shit, everyone has. Nothing that ever involved wrecking other people's property. "Everyone is pretty much a brat at that age" Ha...I don't even know where to start. If you go by that mentality then screw it right? Let them treat other people like shit and not learn how to respect other people. I know for a fact one of the kids that was with and recently got grounded for calling his mom a B#$&H. I'm sorry but I know for a fact I have never called my mom that. So when some 13 year old punk decided to be a brat and go egg your car, then should I give you a break? Kids being kids!

[stiller fan]

There is a difference, it's called respect. Kids being kids, yeah I did some stupid shit, everyone has. Nothing that ever involved wrecking other people's property.

i have gotten my car stuck in the cemetary once.... :eek:

[Jake07V6]

one way to teach them manners is the old spanking method. My two bros and I went through it....I may act up when im around friend but never when adults are present. Just show your kids whos boss.....I have a 5 month old boy and I hope to raise him right and be respectful.

[princess]

"There is a difference, it's called respect."

This is the problem!! They aren't taught any.....but then again most of the parents I see don't have any either.

It DOES go way beyond kids being kids! My kids friends sometimes knew better, sometimes didn't. Even the ones that didn't quickly learned what was acceptable in my house & car. They loved it here! They wanted rules. In fact, many asked to live with us. One was a multiple runaway, that had recently been in trouble for having a gun at school..... yet at my house she was a sweetheart, obeyed every rule & BEGGED us to be her foster parents! AND WE WERE STRICT!

Kids haven't changed, the parents have. Kids have always tested their limits. It's part of becoming a person. You do it at 2, then again as a teen. It's normal. What's NOT normal is when parents think it's cute & 2 & then think the kid will get the rules down by osmosis or something. They're a blank slate & must be taught.

Since many parents now don't have the time to actually be with their kids, they buy them off. It's easier in the short run to give that screaming 3 year the candy they want in line. In the long run, they know they can manipulate the parent. They aren't stupid!!!:yes:

I'm glad you have leather.:thmsup:


Nicholas, who's 9 made us a Halloween/Thank you card for this weekend's trip at Disneyland. I think he'll do that sort of thing when he's 13 too. MOM HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!! She hadn't talked to him yet when it was done. He was honestly thankful for the trip. Jarrison would do it if mom mentioned it, but she hasn't. She's in her own world this week...:dunno:

[turBeau]

My Dad always told me, "Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out." I got the 3rd degree if he heard me say "huh" to my Mom. It was always yes ma'am/ no ma'am and vice versa. My Dad was also a Navy Seal so I was raised very military and am glad he did.

He definatley was my Father 1st, and a friend 2nd. I thank him often for raising me the way he did, even though as a kid I hated it. Getting my a** whooped by him was painful, but its the only thing that worked w/ me since I was stubborn (still am).

It blows me away when I see kids disrespect their parent's, and the parent's do nothing.

[flippco]

"Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

That is a Bill Cosby line, I grew up listening to him. Funny comedy about parenting. It's obvious these kids suffered from the brain damage.

[mwmcginn]

Really, Whats up with this relationship? If you take anyone with you it should be your choice and $137? Is that what you paid? How is that your responsibility? Wow!

If I was doing something like this as a kid I would have paid for it, not someone else. It was an ass thing to do to have food in your car, but you need to set the boundaries.

[Terps_Fan]

Nothing that ever involved wrecking other people's property.

I don't think a little chocolate (or whatever it is) on the seat is wrecked property. Just grab some leather cleaner and things will be back to normal quite easily. The kid may not of even realized that he got crap on the seat. I realize you're just venting, but I think you are over reacting a bit here. I'm guessing that this also started a fight between you and your gf, even though this was not technically her fault. Personally, I'd rather have crud on the leather from some kid on my backseat than some moron dinging my doors in a parking lot. And if some one does egg my car, then oh well. We all know that in life sh*t happens and its not about avoiding the sh*t, but learning how to deal with it when it does happen. After all, its just a car....

[turBeau]

It's obvious these kids suffered from the brain damage.

No suffering here. Never did drugs, graduated high school, got a degree in college, and have a good paying job w/ great benefits. My Dad's my bestfriend now and is always there for me regardless.

I'm 28, married, and have my own son (5 month old) to raise now. My wife is a stay at home Mom to make sure he learns respect and rules. I work a lot, but I'll skip out on sleep to spend time w/ my son. I think it's very important even @ his young age to see Mom & Dad together.

[dohcivtec]

one way to teach them manners is the old spanking method. My two bros and I went through it....I may act up when im around friend but never when adults are present. Just show your kids whos boss.....I have a 5 month old boy and I hope to raise him right and be respectful.

seems nowadays that the spanking method is a bit "extreme" but thats the only method that works to me. i was brought up with spanking, i knew my limits, if i did wrong there came the hand or the wooden stick. WHAM i learned my lesson

[Greg S]

Hey XLR8,

Something just clicked with me. Did you shell out the $137 for everyone to get in? If so, why the hell aren't the parents paying for it as they asked you to drive them there. If that's the case then I think you can see where the problem is. They should have offered to pay when they asked and possibly chipped in for you as well, unless you were already going then they should at least have paid for the kids.

[XLR8]

no, no, no parents paid for it. That part was fine but it was kind of like even though I didn't pay for it I was still amazed that there were no thank-yous thrown around to anyone. TerpsFan, we are on a totally different level, lets agree to disagree. No it did not result in a fight with my girlfriend, she was actually just as amazed as I was and told them the same things I did as we were driving. She knows how much my car means to me and how hard I work for it. She thanked me many times for driving since her car would have been much worse (space wise). Her parents gave me gas money and everything was fine. I was glad to help out and tag along it was just ridiculous to me how disrespectful these kids were, to people, to my car. And as far as the chocolate not being damage I fully agree, it was removed almost the second I found it but it's the principal. They had the chocolate on the way there. No food on the way home, some kid wanted to buy a pop where he would have had no room to set it down. With 4 kids back there I was not about to let him have a pop, I offered to let him get one and finish it before we got in the car but that wasn't good enough.

[XLR8]

Oh and I guess another reason why I'm so "frustrated" with kids is because I work at a grocery store. If that doesn't say enough then just go stand at the checkouts for like half an hour. Or wait for the kid to throw a tantrum and scream at the top of their lungs and their parents completely ignore them so they continue screaming for the remainder of the shopping trip, usually anywhere from 15-60 minutes. Or when the kid starts to cry when their parents won't buy them candy so the parent gives in. I realize that it is the parents not the kids fault but it is the kids that suffer. You tend to blame the kid when the situation happens but when you go back and look (like the chocolate) I see how it is the parents fault, not the kids.

[Jake07V6]

seems nowadays that the spanking method is a bit "extreme" but thats the only method that works to me. i was brought up with spanking, i knew my limits, if i did wrong there came the hand or the wooden stick. WHAM i learned my lesson

extreme my A$$...thats the problem sometimes with these conservatives. I was brought up in the Philippines spanking is nothing...even in school the teachers hit us in the leg with a stick which was very painful for getting a bad grade and not doing hw. If you ever act up in class like some kids these days...your days would be over. They'll make you sit outside in 100+ degree heat and make you stand straight up w/ a book on top your head...IF that book falls off...you're done. :lmao:

[messfeeder]

That reminds me...I had way too much lumpia to eat last night.:paranoid::blush:

[Jake07V6]

Man...I haven't had a good lumpia in a while with garlic vinegar dip. yum

[Jake07V6]

Messfeeder where you from?

[anysia]

what's lumpia?

anything with garlic and vinegar could possibly get my vote. stinky, but yummy.

[Jake07V6]

kinda like filipino version of spring rolls but much better cuz it has meat in it.

[messfeeder]

Messfeeder where you from?

Born and raised in USA. My girlfriend's family immigrated from the Philippines when she was a little girl.

[Jake07V6]

Ohh ok. how do you like the culture?

[maddog0z]

Lumpia is great, my mom and aunt makes me some once in a great while. I push for more adobo though. Sorry, im a bit off topic, but I saw Lumpia... Cheers

Oh, yah kids need to get taught respect from their parents. I used to work at staples when I was in high school, and these kids were so nasty the manager had to tell the mother to leave because she wouldnt discipline her kids. She got all huffy and puffy and ended up leaving finally, not once yelling at her kids. Her kids were pushing stuff off the shelves and opening marker packages and writing on the floor. It was out of hand, even other customers were in awe at this display; it was rediculous.

[messfeeder]

I just don't understand why some people have kids if they don't want to take on the role of parent. The parent's job is to discipline and shape a child into the person they are going to be for the rest of their life, not be their best friend.

@Jake, it's an interesting culture. Some of the food combinations are weird, but some of it is pretty good. I've learned a few words of Tagalog, but not much. If you understand Filipino culture and you want a good laugh, search for Happy Slip on Youtube. My favorite one is called Morning Meest.
:lmao:I just watched on called Mixed Nuts. Why do Filipinos point with their lips?:lmao:

[flippco]

This was the first Halloween that my wife and I were in our current house. We live in suburb of Minneapolis/St. Paul in a decent size neighborhood. We must have had 25 trick or treaters last night and every one I gave candy to said thank you, most even said please. I was very impressed.

[messfeeder]

This was the first Halloween that my wife and I were in our current house. We live in suburb of Minneapolis/St. Paul in a decent size neighborhood. We must have had 25 trick or treaters last night and every one I gave candy to said thank you, most even said please. I was very impressed.

Same here with the trick-or-treaters. Seems the minority bad parents make all parents these days look bad. I was glad to also see how many parents went with their kids and didn't just send them off on their own!:yes:

[BenzAccord]

Oh, yah kids need to get taught respect from their parents. I used to work at staples when I was in high school, and these kids were so nasty the manager had to tell the mother to leave because she wouldnt discipline her kids. She got all huffy and puffy and ended up leaving finally, not once yelling at her kids. Her kids were pushing stuff off the shelves and opening marker packages and writing on the floor. It was out of hand, even other customers were in awe at this display; it was rediculous.

Take if from a Dad, it is easier said than done. We all try to be good parents, but some days.... I don't think the store is the right place to do the disciplining - they may have got their hides tanned when they got home. Its tough when you have things to do and you have to bring your kids with you. They are bored to death, and don't want to be there for your errands. You can't expect the kids to behave like adults.

I went shopping with my kids to the grocery store, and one of them wanted candy and wouldn't take no for an answer. I asked him to put the candy down 2X, after he didn't, and before the tantrum started, I took it away, carried him out of the store (embarrasing the kid and me) and left.

Other folks on the left coast have told me unbelievable stories - like strangers in a toy store telling a parent that they will report her for child abuse because she disciplined her child for having a "I want this toy now" tantrum.

[flippco]

I went shopping with my kids to the grocery store, and one of them wanted candy and wouldn't take no for an answer. I asked him to put the candy down 2X, after he didn't, and before the tantrum started, I took it away, carried him out of the store (embarrasing the kid and me) and left.


I am by no means a child expert, I think this is the right response for many reasons. 1. It deals with the situation immediately. 2. It sends a message to the child that the parent is in charge. Hopefully the child will become conditioned to remember that a tantrum is not the answer.

[stevencrosbie]

Other folks on the left coast have told me unbelievable stories - like strangers in a toy store telling a parent that they will report her for child abuse because she disciplined her child for having a "I want this toy now" tantrum.


My dad always said: "I'm willing to go to jail for child abuse"

I was spanked...and I think I turned out very well. It is a very successful parenting tool if used properly. As well...you're above statement is the reason why I will never live in a state that won't let me carry a hand gun. :)

[princess]

I was spanked twice & slapped once in my life. All by mom, not dad. I almost wished I was spanked more because what she usually did was make me feel so guilty that I still carry it around!! :paranoid: Spankings are done & over with.

I think where & how you deal with a child's discipline depends on so much.... some kids aren't going to respond to spankings, some not to words, some not to groundings, etc. We had one that if you just looked at her with disappoinment in your eyes, she'd cry & the point was made. Another that there was NOTHING that worked until she was old enough to phone-ground! That kid was one that if you wanted you could beat the hide right off of her & it wouldn't help fix the wrong. (her youngest son is the same way:lmao:) Our son had the bad luck of bad timing....that poor kid would not be smart enough to see that both sisters had just been griped at for what he also decided to do. So he got in trouble the most. Usually words were enough, but not always.

If a toddler is about to run into the street.....you yell, scream, try to grab & react (often by a swat) at the same time. Whatever it takes to keep them safe.

If a teen is about to run into trouble....we are told to quietly reason with him.

The problem is that the brains are on the same focus. Independence.

I yelled, screamed, grabbed & threatened to swat my teens too!! Whatever it took to keep them safe.


Beatings are ALWAYS wrong. Spankings are not, but should be used as the last line of defense whenever possible! Degrading is much more harmful that getting pink buns!!

[Jake07V6]

If my kids do that in the future in stores this is what I'll do....Let's go home (smiling) I hv some a$$ whooping to do....I think you might know him very very well...he can call child services but I know it takes them 15 mins to get to my house and In that 15 mins someone is getting whooped.:lmao:


On side note...I think positive reinforcement works well too for instance if your kids was to act up reply with "hey, we dont do that here its embarassing...ok?" But if that doesn't work I'll be using my alternative method its called " A$$ WHOOPIN" muahahaha

[XLR8]

My mom did the same thing to me and my brother. We threw a fit in a store, we left. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It's disrespectful to everyone else in the store when you just let your kid carry on. I personally don't give a damn how hard it is if your kid took you seriously and knew when you meant business they would stop, it's push over parents that let their kid rule them that make me mad. You can tell when a kid respects their parents and listens to them, and when they don't the parent takes action. :furious:

Funny story about awesome parenting. So in grocery stores there are tags from every item on the shelf. If you notice it has a bar-code, same as the bar-code on the item. We use the bar-codes and an ordering gun to order our load every day. Well some little kid kept removing almost entire aisle's worth on the bottom row of the tags. No one could figure it out until one day a fellow employee was standing in the same isle as the culprit and his father. The father was not oblivious to what his kid was doing, he was in fact laughing at it. So for the past months we have been ordering new tags and spending time putting up new ones, and dealing with questions "how much does this cost?", "why are there no tags", all because some dad thought it was funny? How does someone like that have the right to parent?

Now I get to go to work :) see ya later

[messfeeder]

There is a lady who comes in where I work just about every day. Her kids are so out of control that I serve her as quickly as I can just to get her and her bratty kids outta there. I guess you could say that her lack of parenting benefits her with fast service!

[princess]

One of the things we did to ours at stores was: if they were sounding a bit out of control on the way there.... "he's touching me, she looked at me, etc," when we got to the store we'd kiss LOTS in the parking lot. They whine about it embarrassing them. I'd simply say "OK, we'll stop IF you promise NOT to embarrass us inside!"


Worked like a charm!!!:yes:



And it wasn't so bad for us either!!!:naughty:



You just gotta stay a few steps ahead of 'em!!!:)