well, it's getting close to that time of year again, the christmas season. i was watching a christmas movie this afternoon at my buddy's house, and towards the end of the movie, i was almost overcome with complete and utter lonliness.......... more than likely, i will be single this hoilday season, and there's not much that i can do to change that. i don't want to start something new right now, cause i feel that now is not the right time to be carrying baggage. i am going to c-school next summer (hopefully), so i am preparing myself for that, along with saving as much money as i can (if i can)....... yes, i do have my family, but i have no one to give my heart to to help enjoy christmas to its fullest potential......

my question is, in the past, how have some of the other members here @ DA dealt with sorrow / lonliness during the holidays?

Go for a spirited drive http://www.v6performance.net/forums/images/smilies/drive.gif

well, that's the easy answer.... not too sure if my car would like that too much; my car makes funny noises (spark knock?) above 4k rmps now, so trying not to push unless i have too....

wards: could you please add that smiley listed above to the forum permanently???? :biggrin: :notworthy:

I like this one too http://www.v6performance.net/forums/images/smilies/crash.gif

Well if you don't want to push your car then why not just baby it with a nice detail job and those repairs you have been putting off ... and DIY http://www.v6performance.net/forums/images/smilies/cheers.gif

hmmm, repairs cost money, which i don't have a whole lot to go around.....

turst me, if i had the funds, my car would be in alot better shape than what it's in right now....

(now, wating for smart aleck comment from a certain member... :paranoid: )

Thanksgiving is my holiday of choice. Even when single that one could be shared with family and a good time by all. X-mas I didnt like it as a kid. Yeah I know <strange> I saw all the hype and pressure and marketing as a child and thought it to be utterly stupid then. Its the wifes holiday, so I muttle thru.

When single, just blew X-mas off. Catch a church service or two. I was raised Luthern but still like to go to a Catholic mid-night mass now and again. Stay out of the hype and cripe. Hope retailers go broke and move on.

Stiller,

Having been in your shoes, more than once, I advise this:
Keep the faith that things happen for the best. You will find someone to share your life with WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT NOT BEFORE. Let the Navy take you where it will and enjoy it.

You won't feel alone at Christmas unless you really want to feel that way. Go to the Chapel midweek, when it's not crowded, and talk to The Boss. :thmsup:

Having been in your shoes, more than once, I advise this:
Keep the faith that things happen for the best. You will find someone to share your life with WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT NOT BEFORE.


along those lines, yes, stiller, just have faith that everything happens for a reason. having had someone there to share xmas with in the physical sense that my ex was there since college didn't mean squat to me. i might as well have been alone. i took the steps and the risks needed to get out of that situation. i'm thinking this year might be alot different for me! :thmsup: i wasn't looking, i wasn't hoping. stevel happened though! ;)

do you think xmas was fun for me last year when i knew the ex and i were gonna file for divorce but we still had to pretend to be a somewhat happy married couple around family?? :puke:

ps~you know since you celebrate the russian xmas that all the da'ers will be here to keep ya company even if we're picking on your car! :nuts:

along those lines, yes, stiller, just have faith that everything happens for a reason. having had someone there to share xmas with in the physical sense that my ex was there since college didn't mean squat to me. i might as well have been alone. i took the steps and the risks needed to get out of that situation. i'm thinking this year might be alot different for me! :thmsup: i wasn't looking, i wasn't hoping. stevel happened though! ;)

do you think xmas was fun for me last year when i knew the ex and i were gonna file for divorce but we still had to pretend to be a somewhat happy married couple around family?? :puke:

ps~you know since you celebrate the russian xmas that all the da'ers will be here to keep ya company even if we're picking on your car! :nuts:
she's right. me..... past six years tried to leave the house as early as possible on holidays to hang out at my grandparents house just because I knew my ex wouldn't want to spend the entire day out there. our moral.... don't rush to settle, it aint worth it.

ps.... think this year will be good no matter what we do. :thmsup:

My advice is... don't look.

And now, let me just get this out of the way FIRST.

Stiller, seriously, there's more to life than having a girlfriend or a wife.

There I said it.

Now,

Have a positive outlook on life, love yourself, and maybe take a look at your whole self image. Improve yourself and maybe then someone will find you.

You can't force anyone to like you so don't even try. It never works.* Been there, done that many times.

How I've dealt with lonely holidays? Not that I've had that many, but I visited my family, or splurged on myself. I found friends and friends found me. I did (and still do) volunteer work, charity work and all that good stuff. I met quite a few people that way. It feels good and you give back to the community.

You have many of the right things - you seem to have a caring inner person, you're tall and you're in the military (some women I know are a sucker for men in uniform).

But something just doesn't compute. Maybe some other things are completely turning people off, or just turning them away. Gotta look at yourself and see what it is and look to improve it.

I know some women like jerks but these days to me that seems to be less and less so. I do tell people that I want someone to like me because I'm mr. nice guy (most times) not because I put on a show. Of course that doesn't get me as much as some complete total azzholes, but I'm looking for quality, not quantity.

*It only works if you know the girl is playing hard to get. Not always easy to tell.

do you think xmas was fun for me last year when i knew the ex and i were gonna file for divorce but we still had to pretend to be a somewhat happy married couple around family?? :puke:

Been there done that.

I agree, it sucks royally.

yes, don't look.

the best things find you when you are not looking.

Stiller,

Having been in your shoes, more than once, I advise this:
Keep the faith that things happen for the best. You will find someone to share your life with WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT NOT BEFORE. Let the Navy take you where it will and enjoy it.

You won't feel alone at Christmas unless you really want to feel that way. Go to the Chapel midweek, when it's not crowded, and talk to The Boss. :thmsup:

hmm, so, what do i do for BOTH Chrsitmases..... (25dec, and 07jan)????

along those lines, yes, stiller, just have faith that everything happens for a reason. having had someone there to share xmas with in the physical sense that my ex was there since college didn't mean squat to me. i might as well have been alone. i took the steps and the risks needed to get out of that situation. i'm thinking this year might be alot different for me! :thmsup: i wasn't looking, i wasn't hoping. stevel happened though! ;)

do you think xmas was fun for me last year when i knew the ex and i were gonna file for divorce but we still had to pretend to be a somewhat happy married couple around family?? :puke:

ps~you know since you celebrate the russian xmas that all the da'ers will be here to keep ya company even if we're picking on your car! :nuts:

you have a very good point...... even though that you love to make fun of my "beater" (dare i say that), i know that i am well-liked on here, for the most part.....

hmmmm, my family has been trying to hook me up with this girl from church.... told my mom that i'm staying single for a while.....

hmmmm, my family has been trying to hook me up with this girl from church.... told my mom that i'm staying single for a while.....

LOL. Don't, and I repeat DONT let your family hook you up unless you actually like the person and had intentions of dating/marrying her anyway.

You just gotta TRUST me on this one. :lmao:

Oh, and I can almost guarantee that most of the people saying "I'll just be single for a while" don't really mean it, unless they were really turned off from the opposite sex.

trust me, i know...... i'm not saying that it couldn't work out, cause the girl that i know is single, and may be looking..... but, just not what i'm looking for. the thing that freaked me out was how close the families got so quickly..... when my family went to my ex's house, it was like they knew each other for years, like we were already married or about to be married...... and, we had only dated for 3 months before that.... :paranoid:

that's the funny part, i do mean it..... yeah, i may give someone a look here and there, but i'm not looking to be with anyone right now.

Thanksgiving is my holiday of choice. Even when single that one could be shared with family and a good time by all. X-mas I didnt like it as a kid. Yeah I know <strange> I saw all the hype and pressure and marketing as a child and thought it to be utterly stupid then. Its the wifes holiday, so I muttle thru.

When single, just blew X-mas off. Catch a church service or two. I was raised Luthern but still like to go to a Catholic mid-night mass now and again. Stay out of the hype and cripe. Hope retailers go broke and move on.


I kinda agree with psy.. (oh, what is this world coming to??? :lmao: :dunno: )

I am not scrooge, but Christmas to me is "meh..."

Gifts -
I am not really keen on people buying gifts for me for any occasion, because they usually get something I don't want (mom is famous for this) or I feel guilty that they spent too much. I'd MUCH rather hang out and have a good time than get a gift. Even if I get a gift, something small but useful will suffice. I have no problems giving gifts, but the only people who get thought put into their gifts are people who I know really well. I'm likely to know what to get them. Even then it's a hit or miss.

The season in general -
Way too commercialized and politically correct. You can't even tell some people "Merry Christmas" without fear of offending them. Kwanzaa, Chanukkah etc. Chanukkah isn't Jewish Christmas, in fact it's a rather insignificant holiday on the Jewish calendar, at least compared to the others. Kwanzaa isn't that significant either. I guess they included them because they didn't want anyone to feel offended or left out. :dunno: Nothing is wrong with celebrating these things, mind you, but I don't like lumping them along and equating them with Christmas.

I like to go to Church for Christmas. Catholic midnight mass is the best. :thmsup:

New Year's is nice if you know where to go. I've lived here almost five years already and you won't catch me going to the madness in Times Square. I don't see what's so fun about standing in line, squishing with other people, freezing your toes off and peeing yourself just to see a stupid ball drop.

My favorite holiday here is the 4th of July. That's fireworks season baby... :nuts:

can't stand the commericalization of christmas either; never could. people are always in a rush that time of year to get the biggest thing...... i could go on into the night about how much i hate this aspect of the "sparkle season", so i'll just stop now....that is why i'm glad that i celebrate christmas on the old julian calendar date (7jan)..... plus, the real cool thing is, u know it's christmas when it snows on that day (or on christmas eve) EVERY YEAR!!!!! :notworthy:

was looking at farmer's almanac...... they're calling for a big winter storm around that date....... :banana: it's nearly a guaranteed event every year.... either it's snows, or there's snow on the ground, or both, on christmas. :biggrin:

one of the reasons why i LOVE pittsburgh.

btw, is the macy's thanksgiving day parade worth going to? my family was planning on driving up to see it, but my mom now has to work that day.

btw, is the macy's thanksgiving day parade worth going to? my family was planning on driving up to see it, but my mom now has to work that day.

All of those things have crowds. I don't like them all that much.

The difference with this one is that the floats are large so you can probably see.

I went to it once or twice so if you haven't seen it yet, it may be good. But after that the novelty wears off. Don't go alone, carry company, even if it's family. Company fills in the gaps between the boring parts. Carry a camera, even if it's a disposable. It gives you something to do and you have memories afterwards. Camcorder is good too. I take lots of photos at places I go so I'm always busy. I have lots of fun doing that.

The best way to see those things though is to have a friend who lives along the route in a high rise apartment or who works in a building along the route. My ex's brother worked at a property management company so we got a view from one of the buildings.

can't stand the commericalization of christmas either; never could. people are always in a rush that time of year to get the biggest thing...... i could go on into the night about how much i hate this aspect of the "sparkle season", so i'll just stop now....that is why i'm glad that i celebrate christmas on the old julian calendar date (7jan)..... plus, the real cool thing is, u know it's christmas when it snows on that day (or on christmas eve) EVERY YEAR!!!!! :notworthy:

was looking at farmer's almanac...... they're calling for a big winter storm around that date....... :banana: it's nearly a guaranteed event every year.... either it's snows, or there's snow on the ground, or both, on christmas. :biggrin:

one of the reasons why i LOVE pittsburgh.


I lived in an Orthodox community - the Greek orthodox community (Astoria, NY). They had fireworks after regular easter and I was wondering why the heck did they do that? Then I found out that it was their easter... Can be confusing at times.

hmm, so, what do i do for BOTH Chrsitmases..... (25dec, and 07jan)????

Too far ahead to sweat! Little by little, things have a way of working themselves out.....and they will.

Faith,not worry, will carry you through.

sometimes, both easters fall on the same day...... doesn't happen a lot, but it's nice when it does. :angel:

For you Stiller -

yes, don't look.

the best things find you when you are not looking.
I totally agree with this! That's how I met my current GF. I didn't actively search for her, it just happened one day! :D

I totally agree with this! That's how I met my current GF. I didn't actively search for her, it just happened one day! :D
like me, i wasnt looking. was kinda busy having a crush on a dumb unavailable boy and tom brady. :lmao: well, atleast that kept me from looking.

wait, don't you still like pretty boy brady to begin with? stevel jealous????? :lmao: ;)

For you Stiller -

ah yes, Saint Nickolai...

the wording below the ikon is the russian words for "In Praise of St. Nicholas"..... :yes:

shame on me, at first, i didn't know who it was, then i looked at the bottom of the black and white ikon.

wait, don't you still like pretty boy brady to begin with? stevel jealous????? :lmao: ;)

LOL...

On a more serious note -looks aren't everything stiller.

It's all about attitude.

If looks were everything you'd have women crawling all over you, simply because of the fact that you're over 6ft tall.

Try to make people happy around you. That will surely land you success.

Crack jokes, have fun, learn to not be so serious.

Stop whining and being sad or angry at the world. You'll just dig yourself into a deeper and deeper hole of loneliness.

When your aura is one of happiness, people will want to be around you.

When it's one of sadness, fear and doom, people will run like the wind.

Be confident. Women hate wussies. A wussy is short for a wimp and a p**sy. But don't be confident to the point of being too c0cky.

Stop cursing endlessly, if you do that. I don't think a lot of people like someone who curses every 5 words. If you let one fly now and again, no big f'in deal... but when it gets excessive it's not nice.

And one more thing - don't look for a wife. Look for a friend. If it has to grow into something more, it will. Just let it take its sweet time. The destination is the end of the journey. The journey is beautiful, interesting and FUN. Why let the fun end so soon?