"Xanga" Those w/ children, pay attention

[BenjiBoy650]

There's this new craze on the internet called "Xanga." Basically, it's the equivalent of a journal, just online. People just write whatever in there. Well I wasn't too worried about this even though I found some articles saying how easy it was to get info from some entries. Well it finally hit me when I saw my brother start his Xanga. He put his full name (even his middle) and his zip code. Also the entry info is not limited, you could easily put other kids names, addresses, etc. The worst part is that entries are open to Xanga members, who can easily do searches by numerous criteria. I find this unacceptable due to the lack of attention by many parents, the lack of common sense of many kids, and the dangers in the world. Recently a man nearby was convicted of trying to buy a kid for $500. If he had access to all this information about my brother, what might have happened?

Just a heads up for you parents out there.

[princess]

Good advise! It's scary how much info we give over the computer. Kids that THINK they're being careful by not saying their name, will give their sports team, number & when they're having a game. A preditor can find them pretty easy with that info.

A friend's teen was all of sudden getting calls from Sacramento a couple years back, turns out she'd given enough info for the guy to find her unlisted phone number. He was quite a bit older & knew he was dealing with a minor. Obviously he didn't care. Probably what he was after. When Dad had a chat with him on the phone, luckily it stopped.

[Pairallel]

Any particular web site(s) we could look for in our browser history that are connected to this fad?

[BenjiBoy650]

Currently www.xanga.com seems to be most popular, but there are more. A while back I used deadjournal.com but you couldn't search for entries as easily and you could privatize the entries so that only authorized users (like school friends) could see them. Also things like subprofile.com (for AIM), or if your child uses AIM you need to be very vigilant. www.livejournal.com is also one I remember. If your child is running his or her own website there will probably a lot of hits on angelfire.com, geocities.com, brinkster.com, or any of the big hosts.

[Inspector1]

My outlook on the whole issue is..." If parents were involved in their children's lives instead of letting the computer BABY-SIT these problems would diminish"...... Same goes with TV and Video games .. Heck when I was growing up I never dreamed of sneaking out of the house or coming in at all hours unless I was over at a friends who's parents didn't care and we got away with it... not under my parents watch....
We didn't have computers or video games at home back then.....
We would go to the Pool Hall...or Arcade......to live on the edge..Hahaha

I1:)

[princess]

Our oldest tried to sneak out once. Dad caught her & her screen got screws put in it from the outside. It's ground level & the window on the other side would be the fire exit. She only tried that one time. The other two didn't dare. Sometimes the oldest has to try to break the rules to set the pace for the rest!

All the wonderful gadgets around are so over used as the easy way to entertain the kids.....then the parents wonder why they have no idea when "it happened" (the drugs started, the violence started, the influences of all the wrong kinds) Nothing is 100% when it comes to raising kids, but spending time as a family sure increases the chances of knowing WHEN a problem may come up. Kids need to know their parents in order to confide in them!

Even now, our grandkids expect us to sit with them when we put in a Disney movie. Grandpa has a blast arranging the hotwheels tracks with them. Or teasing on their driving when the power wheels jeep & lamborghini are out.......

[BenjiBoy650]

Originally posted by Inspector1
My outlook on the whole issue is..." If parents were involved in their children's lives instead of letting the computer BABY-SIT these problems would diminish"...... Same goes with TV and Video games .. Heck when I was growing up I never dreamed of sneaking out of the house or coming in at all hours unless I was over at a friends who's parents didn't care and we got away with it... not under my parents watch....
We didn't have computers or video games at home back then.....
We would go to the Pool Hall...or Arcade......to live on the edge..Hahaha

I1:)

I agree with you, though ironically I grew up in front of the computer :) Ya learn a lot though if you have the right mentality. For instance I learn how to shop around, how to take apart my car (hehehe) and how to search for what I want. I'm basically self sufficient on the computer. I could stay here for days on end except for food and bathroom. Otherwise, I have TV, thousands of hours of music, chat, etc all on here haha.

[Pairallel]

Of course you're all right...this is the solution because this is how parents used to raise their children and it worked to make strong families.

Now for the tough question: why did this participatory method of raising children go out of style...and why isn't it being employed to correct our societal decay now?

Heavy question, but I would be interested in the views from such a diverse group as this one.

:scratch:

[BenjiBoy650]

Well I had a huge response on this but let me condense it. In the end, the answer to your question is that parents are stressed out and tired from work, yet are still able to pamper their kids. Kids are then spoiled, corrupted by their TV's, computers, video games, Britney Spears, P. Diddy's etc. Then, these parents are so tired after work that they really don't care. It's sad...it really is. To me it just seems like parents care less and less. It's a really complicated cycle...I don't know how to explain it. People started working harder and their kids got a little out of line. Then those kids produced kids and got more out of line...and those parents worked harder and cared less....so here we are. Taboo issues are no longer (pre-marital sex, one night marriages, etc), and I guess we can call that evolution.

[Pairallel]

parents are stressed out and tired from work

This never happened before until the last 20 years or so??? Of course it did...so what makes parents think they have it so much worse today that they are excused from being responsible for shaping the lives of their children?

Just trying to get to the root of the problem here...

[Inspector1]

Originally posted by Pairallel
Of course you're all right...this is the solution because this is how parents used to raise their children and it*** worked*** to make strong families.

Now for the ***tough ***question: why did this participatory method of raising children go out of style...and why isn't it being employed to correct our societal decay now?

Heavy question, but I would be interested in the views from such a diverse group as this one.

:scratch:


Key words It's WORK AND TOUGH ..... We have become a society that believes it should be EASY and LAZY... I believe that it stems from a Government that has led people to believe if you are down and out that they will bail you out..... Alot believe that the most work they should do is hold out theirs hands for the free money that they will receive. They have also realized that the further they bury themselves the more they receive....ie more kids more welfare......
I am not a Prejudice person or a Bigot just against Lazy people that want it all given to them...... I could go on and on......

I've been in the work force for 25 years and my neighbors think I'm lazy since I only work 25-30hrs max a week...... I've done my share of 70-80hr weeks for not even twice what I make now......
I call it working smarter instead of working harder....
Isn't that part of growing older and wiser??????

Quite a few of my friends ask, why don't you do this or that and you could have your own company......... NO ..... I don't want Employee's because of the simple facts listed above.......
I have a one person business with one Employee=Me......
If someone makes a mistake who's accountable = Me
If I'm late, hungover, having a bad day, or just generally stupid..
Who's it hurt= Me........
That's why Independent Contractors are the growing Business Trend for large companies........ Due to the numerous problems and expenses associated with Employees........... blah-blah ...
Just me ranting...... off on a Tanjent......

I1:headbash: :censored: :) :) :)

[BenjiBoy650]

The world has become more materialized. I have friends who have parents that argue all the time. In return these kids get money. Well what the hell is that supposed to mean?! Stress and work lead to arguments where the kids must be pushed off to the side and disregarded. See the 50% divorce rate, which was roughly 6% in 1890 and 20% in the 1920's. Also we're not allowing natural selection to happen. Like I1 mentioned, government welfare has helped a lot of idiots. If you're not going to work, but still get money, and then produce kids like yourself, well then that's the problem. And remember that would be an exponential growth.

[Pairallel]

I agree with those points...people are lazier today, the government rewards the lazy, but still...what happened to parents loving their children enough to realize that every minute counts when it comes to teaching and disciplining and setting the example?

Why has our society lost that critical love-based ingredient...and in such a relatively quick time...?

:(

[princess]

One of the problems is we're afraid to discipline. The books/media have told us that we can cause harm if we do it wrong. So we just don't do it at all! I only got 2 spankings as a kid, but I knew it could happen. Now the kids will threaten to call social services if you put them in a time out too long! If you ground them they CAN tell on you & when the government gets envolved anything can happen. Also there's been so many reported cases of sexual abuse I think some are really afraid so give their kids a hug! Parents are genuinely afraid of doing things their way because of the fears that have been in the media.

Another problem as a whole we accidently took away authority. It is wonderful that we have the RIGHT to protest & complain. BUT in doing it we have given the kids the wrong impression. When the kids are in the car we'll make negative comments about the cop that's behind us. When the news is on we'll comment on the stupidity of our leadership. We pretty much never say respectful things about the authority figures...we just gripe. Well, in a 5 year old mind it's going to come across differenly than we mean it.

It's a fine line between making sure the little guys are aware of current events & giving too much info. On 9/11 my grandson was living with me. Our morning routine was he climbed into my bed & watched the morning news with me. He wasn't 3 yet. He thought everytime they showed the planes more were hitting. I wanted to get as much info as I could, so I explained it was the same pictures being played. We discussed his safety. We discussed how there's always people that do mean things that hurt others. We didn't emphasize the deaths. We talked about what HE thought. Now he is most perseptive than many kids, but he was still very young. I didn't want him to be afraid.....even if I was at the time! Then in Dec of that year I made a big deal about us flying to FL. We did it to say we won't be afraid. If we aren't afraid he didn't need to be either. I know several parents that were having too much trouble dealing with it themselves & didn't discuss it with their kids.

I guess the point is we need to pay attention & have a blend. Beating is always bad. Any discipline to an extreme can be harmful. But kids need to be taught right from wrong. Some things are always wrong. It's always wrong to steal. It's always wrong to intentionally hurt.

Wow! That was 20 cents!! Sorry.

There's nothing wrong with kids today. There's several things wrong with what we've done to them!!

[Pairallel]

Well said. How many of those horrendous crimes committed by teenagers can be traced back to uninvolved or disinterested parents? Proper discipline is not abuse - it is an expression of love and children recognize that.

Personally, I think the decay in our society has a lot to do with selfishness on many levels, and the comments on this thread are all extensions of that theme... People or parents who are so concerned with self that concern for others falls way down the priority list.

Well, I wish there was an answer, and that we could do more than bemoan our society's loss of innocence. Unfortunately, I think we can only take action within our own relationships...with our children, our friends' children, our neighbors' children, and ourselves.

Maybe we should take time every week to just throw them all into our Hondas and go for a ride...! At least it will make us all smile...

:D