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TL A-Specs RUBY------CURB
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hello people.. I am in a very very terrible situation....
My father, mother and sister were traveling down to Rochester NY, on NY I-90. 1 week back. Their car was met by a hedious accident.... They were hit by a tractor trailer, it was doing 85mph (according to the track onboard computer) and the driver lost control of it. The accident caused on the spot death of my parents who were in the front seat and my sister was taken to strong hospital in Rochester where she departed for heavenly abode as well. I am the only 1 left in the faimly now. I am only 22 and I am stuck in a precarious situation. My uncles want me to press charges on the truck driver who escaped unhurt. Very little damage was done to his truck.
I however do not want to press charges because i know my father wouldnt have punished anyone. he would have given the guy a second chance, even if it meant loosing his child... i cant bring them back form the dead but i dont know what i should do as well... I am in a completely destroyed situation. I have 1 more semester of school left but my fathers buisness is being legally passed to me, how should I leave his buisness and continue with school, also i now have this huge house to myself.. I dont really know what to do. My uncles family wants to come and live at my place with me for good. As of right now, i am by myself.... just dont know what to do.. I have looked up to drive accord members from time to time for advise .. what should i do.... I dont have any shortage of money but some say i should spare the rig driver as well... the cops gave him a ticket for speeding but thats about it..... nothing more was done!
 

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Jeeps like to be muddy
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Sorry, to hear of your tragic loss.
 

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I snapped my G string....
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Sorry about you loss.
 

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My condolences my friend, i wish you a merry Christmas and hope your family can get through this. I think the driver should get at least 5 years time IMO.
 

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need 6 speed!
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that is horrible news, sorry for your loss.
but i would pursue the truck driver, just go after his insurance company if you don't want to ruin his life financially. but i would not have sympathy for that truck driver, I guess you're alot more caring than most people.
 

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Several things:

1. I'm surprised the truck driver only received a speeding ticket, if this was totally his fault then there is a charge of "negligence causing death" that can be laid, what was the reason or circumstance this charge was not laid in such a horrific accident as you have described?

2. I'm sure your parents would like you to continue and complete your education (both the undergrad and post grad as you mentioned in another thread), you may wish to find an interim person to run the business while you complete education, or you may choose to sell the business so you can concentrate on your education.

3. As for your uncle and his family, well that is a family matter and there is no way anyone outside of your family or on this forum would know enough of the background to make a suggestion to you, you will have to make this decision on your own, but do speak to your parent's family lawyer, (the one that is assisting you on the speeding ticket), and seek his/her opinion on the implications, upsides, downsides etc. If I were in the situation, I would probably sell the house and get a small place near school.

4. At the risk of sounding like promoting the lawyers, you should seek proper, formal advice from legal counsel with respect to lawsuits against the truck driver and the company he works for, again you will have to make the final decision based on your legal rights and balance against any wish you feel your parents would have had.

Sorry for your loss, raise your chin and start dealing with it, you will find yourself growing up very quickly from this experience, and I wish you the best of luck in your future.

BTW, one of my friend lost both of his parents also in a traffic accident while they were in a southeast Asian country 3 years ago doing humanitarian work, while he was quite a mature individual to start off with even in his young age (he was mid 20' at the time), he very quickly picked up his life and continued with his passion in aviation and has made great stride in his career, I hope you will achieve the same in your profession.

Last but not least, my sincere condolences.
 

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Wow I gotta send my condolences out to you. But If I were you, I would press charges. That trailer had no business going 85 MPH. I know that it wouldn't make up for what he did. But maybe he'll learn a valuable lesson.
 

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my condolences for your loss. if there was a police report and the driver was found to be at fault i would pursue the driver's insurance company (as aznx tl) opinionated, however try to do so hopefully as emotionally unattached as possible ... meaning, see it thru to cover the financial necessities after this tragic event, and not a vengeful act because i do not believe that doing so out of pure emotion would help deal with the loss. you seem to understand that already though based on what you say of your father, so you may already have your answer on that.

as for the rest (business and school), i would try to finish that last semester if possible and would take council in close, honest and highly trusting family, as well as your family lawyer(s) and accountant(s)/financial consultant(s) for assistance with the business

all in all i wish you the best going forward.
 

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TL A-Specs RUBY------CURB
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Discussion Starter · #10 · (Edited)
The ticket issued to the driver was negligence with speeding nothing for causing death of my family. I had recieved a call from the DA for the county processing the hearings if i would like to pursue a case for punitive damages from the accident. I told him to give me some time to decide and get done with the Indian rituals, customs and traditions surrounding the deaths of family members. My dads lawyer was there the very next day to help me out with my questions but I told him to leave me alone for the time being. I did not mention earlier but the truck drivers family also came to the funeral of my family and were regretful for what the driver had done. He told me that the only reason he was speeding was to make his deadline to deliver the goods. he told me that he would be willing to give me money for the funeral and insisted on doing so but the Indian community i belong to here in Buffalo, NY always collectively contributes and performs funeral ceremonies.
I am still not sure if I should sell away the buisness because I am quiet capable ( my father taught me how to run the entire chain of his fast food restaurants ) to run the buisness. I however do not want to give up school as well. Some of my professors who were also good family friends told me to take a break for a semester and get it over with in the summer session. As far as the house is concerned, I am still ot sure, The house has already been paid in full by my parents but concering the current market I dont know if i should just keep it or sell it. Living alone in the house does haunt me though. slowly and steadily all my relatives are going back home and i am just afriad of living by my selves.. the pictures of my parents accident taken by the press really cause nightmares... I dont really know where to go.. Planned on suicide for a couple of days just after their demise but soon got over it because my parents would not have liked me just giving up like that! I dont really trust my extended family as well because they have always been after my fathers money.... Until the time my parents were alive my uncles who now show so much interest in me didnt even speak to us or visit us.... now they are just all flocked around me... I sometimes feel they are geniune sometimes it just looks like they are out for the cash... I just feel like selling everything away and going to a remote place where no one can find me and just live the rest of my life there....
 

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TL A-Specs RUBY------CURB
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Also, guys I have 3 cars to sell away... Its not like I am trying to take advantage of my situation. I have a 2007 lexus GS, a 2006 Mercedes benz GL and a 2000 oldsmobile silhoutte. I am planning on donating the silhoutte. the benz and lexus are paid for in full. I am just trying to ge whatever I can for it... Not looking for the price of a brand new one.... My uncles want them but I dont want to just give them away. I want to use the money made from them to set up a university scholarship in my late sisters name at the University at Buffalo, NY where she was a freshman. If any of you are interested, please let me know... again this is going to benefit some needy student...
 

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ok from
one Sikh bhaji to another...
listen..
this is what i recommend.
goto the gurudwara.. an pray.
all answers will come to you in this time of need.

God will show you the correct path to take.


(i assume your a sikh from your custom title under your user name)
 

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Sorry to hear about your family's passing in the wreck.

I see you mention about your extended family and you not trusting them.

First, get your dad's lawyer, have him set up things so they are in your name. This protects you should they try anything.

Did your family have a will? This of utmost importance. (my mom worked in a lawyer's office doing estate work her whole life) You need to have the lawyer go through this with you, as it will set forth everything to come. This way, no matter what your extended family does, they can't take advantage of you.


See, my family was in the same situation (my dad) when his father and mother passed. He was taken advantage of by his uncle who said he was incapable of tending to his own affairs. They took everything from him and he had to work very hard his whole life to make up for it.

If I were you, I'd at least have them press charges for something, even if you don't have the driver sent to jail. This way you can get compensation.

If you're uncomfortable in the house, sell it.

Sell the cars and keep the money from them to pay the lawyer for the estate work. Depending on the amount of money involved in the estate, it will be a minimum of 5 figures to do this. The larger the estate, the more it will cost.

As far as the business goes, maybe you should look to those that work within the business now, to see if there is someone you can trust as a person who can run it day to day, reporting to you. Do this while you're in school, so you can finish your studies. Have the family lawyer set up a proper arrangement for this as it will protect both you and the business.

Once you graduate, should you wish to, you could run it day to day or be a silent owner.

If worse came to worst, you can sell everything, including the business. Transfer your school credits to another city and move. It may be very difficult, but a fresh start might be what you are looking for?

There's at least one bright point, many people your age when they suffer such a tragic loss usually end up penniless. They usually have to leave school and end up working just to survive.

Keep your chin up.

If you have any questions regarding the estate issues, I can ask my mom and relay the info to you.
 

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I am truly sorry for your loss. You seem to be handling it well as can be expected, but, we are all human and I am sure this is a very difficult time for you.

Taking a short break is good advice. Talk with your freinds, your relatives, your own supports that you have established over your lifetime. Listen to what they have to say, but you ultimately need to make your own decisions.

Also think about what your Father, your Mother, and your Sister would want you to do. Go ahead talk to them, they are listening. They will help you get through this. You will get through this.

As far as the truck driver is concerned, there is always a solution to a problem. Do what your heart tells you to do. There is no easy answer. The family lawyer is probbly the best person to speak to regarding this. He can take the emotional aspect out of it. Some good can come out of it. Perhaps the scholarship in your sisters name could be enhanced by some type of settlement. Yes, it will not bring your family back, but, you can do some good with it.

Best of luck to you in this difficult time. YD
 

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I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

It seems to me that while you are holding up pretty well, the fact that you were considering suicide show that you could probably use some help. If I were in your shoes the first thing I would do is seek the assistance of a trusted therapist.

Next, I'd secure the counsel of an attorney to ensure that your interests are protected.

As far as the truck driver, I would look at the aggravating and mitigating factors while deciding whether or not to pursue criminal charges. How fast was he driving relative to traffic? Was your family speeding as well? Other than not speeding, what could he have done to prevent it? Could your family have prevented it? What was the single cause (crossing into your parent's lane, etc.)?

With regards to your education, the business, the house and even the cars, I wouldn't do anything too quickly. From your posts and the time elapsed since the accident it appears you aren't in a normal state of mind. It would be unfortunate for you to make a decision under such conditions that you might later come to regret. I would put off making the decision for a while. Rent out the house if you feel uncomfortable. Hire a manager to run the business (in today's job market this shouldn't be a problem). Take a semester off so you can get your things in order.
 

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out of control
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Im sorry to hear about all this. I think u should press charges because the truck driver was speeding. if he had not done that, then no accident would have happened. it is because of his wrecklessness that your family is gone. good luck with everything and merry christmas.
 

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TL A-Specs RUBY------CURB
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
finally decided on one thing today.. after posting here, i went to the local sikh temple .. prayed there for a very long time...
I have decided not to press any charges on the driver.... from what my lawyer told to me... the drivers has never been pulled over for speeding or drunk driving or any of that... I believe my parents have left me enough money ... The lawyer had also informed me of my parents will and how they had decided to leave 50-50 to both me and my sister if something happened to them.. now that my sister is no longer living, I get everything they left behind....
as far as the buisness and my education along with the house is concerned, I have not yet come to any decision yet....
I am going to call up the drivers family tomorrow ,speak to him, may be God just wanted to take my family away from me and I guess the driver was the way he got them.... God forbid, if i was the driver and I killed someone, I would die of the guilt itself.... I dont want to ruin any more lives by pressing charges, the hassels of lawyers, courts just makes life more miserable.. and even if I purse the insurance company: the drivers premiums are ging to go sky high and he might loose his job, that in todays dying economy may spell doom to his family.. so The driver is not going to go through all that ... I have instead decided to ask him to dedicate a few hours a week to volunteer at a charity place and help people in need instead.....
I know some on you may think that my decsion is stupid and I may not get any money out of it.... but trust me, I cant bring back my family but I guess I shouldnt make any one else life miserable as well. By the way, as far as the accident is concerned, he was doing 85 according to his onboard computer system, my family was in the middle lane, the truck lost control, hit the rear end of my dads car,which then lost control and went and hit the siderail. the crash was very nasty and it was crushed completely... My insurance company has already assessed the damages and has decided to give me the entire sum of money back or a new car, as i choose because it was a 7 month old mercedes e-class. well... the models or cars dont matter anymore.. its 3 in the morning... i wish my parents and sister were still here.......
 

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First off, Iam sorry to hear about your family, and my condolences go out to you. I really know to well what it is like to go through this. You gotta take it easy, take a semster off, and just follow what leads you.

Back when I was growing up my best friend had the same thing happen to him, Except he was younger and of course family members he never saw before wanted his parents bussiness. They ran it into the ground, went broke and he never got anything, to this day he still never talks to any of them. So as sad as it is you have to watch out for that, some people will do anything for money.
 

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Your empathy and compassion are truly outstanding. The world needs more people like you.
 

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I admire you for not wanting to seek revenge on the driver. Not a lot of people would have done that andI hope the driver will comply with your request.

As for school, you should definitely finish school whether you take a semester off or not. A college degree goes a long way. Get someone you can trust to run the family business for now. As for your family assets, I wouldn't sell the house just yet. You can rent it. Take your time with these decisions.

These are trying times for someone. Talk to your lawyer, friends, or the religious figure in your religion. If you get suicidal thoughts in your mind again it best to go to a therapist. One of my friends lost her father and she lost all joy of life. Therapy allowed her to let all her emotions out and she recovered. Now she's living life to the fullest. There's good people out there like you.
 
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